Q&A: Am I Too Sensitive?

Tuesday, April 04, 2017 0 Comments A+ a-

Your Question:

Hello! I had to make myself brave enough to start a conversation,because i don't normally do this

I am going through a difficult period in my life right now and I can't talk to anyone because no one seems to understand me. I don't understand how people can be bad to each other. I think twice before saying something because i don't want to bring anyone down, not even after being mean to me. But people seem to be mean to me very often. I suffer very much because of this! I seem to attract these kind of people in my life more than kind-hearted people! I can say that I am not people's favorite person. I've never been! But people say that i can make them feel positive and optimistic and safe when they talk to me! But after that many of them forget everything good I did for them! Yes, there are a few persons who were near me all the time and i love them more than anything! But most people are not! Some do things that are bad to each other for no reason! For me this is very tiring and it makes me confused ! I have been hurt so many times! I am tired of this! Sometimes i hate my sensitivity so much! I wish to be like the others and to not feel so deeply for everything!

Thank you so much for existing! Your page really helps me a lot Maybe the test isn't 100%sure and I may not be an INFJ but still your page really helps me a lot! It is good to know that there are still people that are kind in this world! It gives me so much hope! You don't have to respond! I know this is weird to have a complete stranger saying all this emotional stuff! Thank you for listening to me! And keep up the good work!

My Answer:

Hi and thanks for reaching out! I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a rough patch right now. I've been dealing with some mean-people stuff too, lately, and even had to distance myself from someone I care about. He'd lash out emotionally and it would completely ruin my entire day (because I don't recover from that stuff quickly). My sensitivity makes it hard to brush those things off.

I know what you mean about people being drawn to your kindness and optimism. INFJs like to encourage and listen and help, and that's attractive to those who need it. But sometimes, people abuse that privilege. They realize how uplifting and tolerant we are, and so they either suck the energy right out of us or use us as an emotional punching bag. Until we stop it. I’ve had to put up some very strict boundaries to keep people like this out. It’s made me sort of a hermit, which gets lonely, but I’m sensitive to drama and conflict and am easily overwhelmed by too much of it.

I often hear INFJs say that they wish they weren’t so sensitive. On occasion, I feel this way too. But sensitivity isn’t a bad thing. It’s a tool that makes us aware of what’s going on around us, energetically and emotionally. INFJs seem to have a heaping helping of this tool (lucky us, right?). It works alongside our intuition and gives us great (almost magical) insight. It’s one of our superpowers. No wonder people are drawn to us, eh?

The world doesn’t seem like a very kind place right now. I feel this keenly, and, like you, I suffer because of it. So I’m making a huge effort to do things that energize me and make me feel good. Hot bath, good movie, glass of wine, soft clothes. I bought some African violets last week, and roses the week before (flowers make me smile). Whenever I hear a mourning dove, I stop and listen. I try to spend as much time in/around nature as possible, because it has positive energy. I NEED positive energy to outweigh the icky stuff in the world.

Your sensitivity is very real, whether you’re an INFJ or INFP or other intuitive type, and I’m so sorry that you’re hurting. Please know that there’s nothing wrong with feeling things deeply. You have a tender heart, and it’s there for a reason. It enables you to reach depths of compassion that others can’t even begin to understand. And pain is a messenger, an indicator that something needs to change. You deserve to feel good and be your best self.

I feel like I’ve written quite a bit here, lol, so I’ll stop for now. Please feel free to write back if this resonates. I just wanted you to know that you’re amazing and that no one else’s behavior can define you. You’re a sparkly, sensitive badass. Stay true to that.

Image Credit: CanStockPhoto