Embrace the Weirdness

Tuesday, August 02, 2016 2 Comments A+ a-

Morning, guys! Hope this finds you happy and healthy. :)

I woke early and and decided to jump-start the morning with a trip to my local coffee shop. This week's flavor? Jamaican-Me-Crazy. Don't know how crazy it'll make me, lol, but it tastes fantastic...and refills are free.

 *happy dance*

Yeah, mon.

So all of the Gillicrist posts have been transitioned over, and I'm super glad to be back out here in creative mode. My list of topics to cover is getting long. I'm itching to get started! But I came across something while doing research last week, and it irked me a little. Before doing anything else, I need to get my feelings about it out of the way.

I absolutely love the INFJ community. You guys never cease to amaze me. The Cafe's been up and running for about four years, and the stats just keep growing. Your comments, both here and on the Cafe fan page, are a constant source of hope, comfort, and inspiration. We're about connection. We're about growth and self-improvement and reaching out to ease our shared sense of isolation and weirdness. We want to know and love ourselves, and we need validation for that to happen.

And every so often, I run into an article or forum thread where people object to this. They rant about how INFJs are desperate, clingy, and far too emotional. How we make a big deal out of ourselves, or act like victims, or play the unicorn card just to get attention. How we're too intense and overly sensitive and use the MBTI to justify our psychotic behavior.

I recently stumbled over another one of these rants and was like...

...ugh, not again!

Okay, because I'm able to see an issue from multiple perspectives, I can understand why people might get frustrated with INFJ behavior. We are no picnic. Heck, I frustrate myself all the time. I overthink. I get anxious and emotional. I say things that are better left unsaid. My sense of humor kicks in at inappropriate times. I struggle to find the balance between too-intense and icy-rude. I'm keenly aware of my flaws and am more sensitive about my sensitivity than anybody.

So I know how rough it can be to deal with an INFJ, because I deal with myself on a 24-hour basis.

But here's the thing. Before I discovered my personality type, I had fallen prey to the belief that there was something fundamentally wrong with me. Society had done its best to hammer me into a round peg for its round holes, and I'd pretty much faked my way into a socially acceptable existence. I was miserable, and it wasn't until I took the MBTI that things finally started making sense. I'm rare? Huh. Didn't know that. Wait, I'm also intuitive and complex and emotionally empathic? Hey, this actually explains a lot...

Did my life instantly become easier? Ummm...no. The path of the INFJ is not smooth. There are steep hills, sharp turns, and more than a few fallen trees. But the view can be really spectacular, especially if you have a group of like-minded friends willing to walk with you. I believe this is why we seek each other out. We want to laugh about our shortcomings. We want to share our experiences and know that we're not alone. We want to wear our INFJ cloaks proudly and be understood.

To be fair, there are probably a few of us out there who give in to their darker, less mature aspects and behave in extreme ways. Like hopping onto their unicorns and waving their INFJ flags around as they parade down the path with an exaggerated sense of entitlement (see Dark Side: Knocked Off the Unicorn for more). But really, those are just negative ways of trying to fit in and be appreciated, and it probably wouldn't happen so much if our kind were better understood by society.

So if you're anti-INFJ and are reading this, please understand that we already know how challenging we can be. Deep introspection is one of our superpowers. But we can be really awesome, too, and we have plenty of reasons for gathering together to embrace our weirdness. Embrace it with us! Because with all my heart, I believe we are uniquely positioned for extraordinary things.

Mutant and proud. That's what the Cafe is all about.

Until next time, guys. Love you! <3

Image Credit: Jamaican Me Crazy (caffeinated me), Frustrated Puppy, Frozen MBTI


Write comments
August 3, 2016 at 8:44 AM delete


It never fails to amaze me how well I relate 99.99% of what you write... honestly, I relate so strongly sometimes that it not only amazes me, but almost weirds me out a little! I then, of course, wonder, is it just an INFJ thing, or is it just that we are somehow on a similar wavelength and we'd be best friends if we lived close by and actually knew one another!

Anyhow, beyond amazing me and weirding me out, it is also so very comforting and validating to have someone having such a similar life experience as me. This post really did speak to me (as usual!) I actually feel that I was riding my unicorn and acting in an "immature" way far more before realizing that I am, in fact, an INFJ. Being able to label and understand what I am all about made me feel much better about myself, and much less like I have anything to prove to the world. I do think that in my "past-life" and "pre-INFJ awareness" days, that I was difficult and annoying to many around me; I now feel much more in harmony with the world and others. When you know, understand, and accept yourself, you naturally know, understand, and accept others more readily, and this, naturally, enhances relationships.

Thank you so much for writing this blog. It is a huge source of support and inspiration for me. I have commented before, but rarely (I spurred your Square Peg series with some comments and questions that I addressed to you and your readers, in fact) but I always eagerly read your post, intend to respond, but, alas, get caught up in the busy-ness of my life!

Thank you and have a great day (though I suspect you'll need a nap since you were up so early!)

August 3, 2016 at 3:39 PM delete

Hey there! Thank you sooo much for your lovely comments. I really do think that a lot of INFJs are on the same wavelength. We have a similar approach to ideas and concepts, and my experience is that we bond rather quickly. So there's a good chance that, if we knew each other and spent time in person, we'd find ourselves forging a terrific friendship. :)

I feel exactly the same way...that before I knew my label, I was difficult and annoying to others. Discovering my INFJ type was a huge help, and not just because there was a "why" behind the struggle. It's helped me grow and define myself. I'm still a challenge to some (haha), but at least I know it's because of who I am and how I'm built. And, just as you said, understanding and accepting ourselves leads us to do the same for others.

I am so glad the Cafe brings you support and inspiration! That's why I created it, and you're an angel for taking the time to let me know. It means a lot. Truly, thank you from my heart and many blessings to you, inside and out.

Take Care <3