Top Five Reasons I Need Extraverts

Monday, April 04, 2016 0 Comments A+ a-

I love being an introvert.

It's fantastic. The inner focus, the playful daydreams, the intuitive connections I make while everyone else is chatting away. My world is full of hidden possibilities. Most days, it feels like half of me lives in reality and the other half resides in an invisible realm of mystery and meaning that no one else can see.

The mysterious half is definitely preferable to reality. But the thing about living in two worlds is that, sooner or later, you have to leave one and deal with the other. So when real life calls, I reluctantly step out of the Matrix and get down to business. And by business, I mean things that naturally drain my energy. Even if they're wonderful and emotionally rewarding things, they still wear me out. To survive, I rely on the secret weapon every introvert needs:

An extravert.

Just for the record, you can spell it "extravert" or "extrovert" and both are considered correct. I lean toward the "extra" version because I like how it fits. Extraverts come with "extra" benefits that can be really amazing in a healthy extravert/introvert relationship. Note the word "healthy" and keep in mind that not all E/I combos have found their balance. My ESFJ hubby and I have been married almost twelve years, and we spent a lot of them trying to figure each other out. But though the forecast for an ESFJ/INFJ relationship is often considered grim, we are still going strong.

And part of that strength comes from that big ole "E" at the front of his type. The world is a busy, noisy place after all, and he handles it with more ease than I do. In a lot of ways, he's my hero, because he tackles things that suck the energy right out of me.

If they made an action figure for my
hubby, it would totally look like this.

So, how is an extravert a secret weapon? I'm glad you asked. Here are the top five reasons I absolutely need one (or more) in my life: 

1. They're Bodyguards 

My mysterious inner world is just that...inner. I'm constantly inside my head, and trying to focus on my head and the outside world uses up a ton of energy. Hubs, on the other hands, is totally tuned into his surroundings. When we're out together, he notices things I don't. You wouldn't believe the number of times he's kept me from tripping or pulled me out of harm's way. On my own, it's exhausting to watch out for myself, so being with him allows me to relax and enjoy the natural flow of my imagination.

2. They're Social Pros

Extraverts enjoy interaction with people. It's how they get their energy, and they're really good at it. For me, though, interactions are costly. I can handle them up to a certain point--after that, you can find me in one of my recharging zones (out walking, soaking in the tub, or buried under a pile of blankets with wine and the TV remote). I love how the extraverts in my life take charge of social stuff...answering the phone, ordering take-out, making introductions, engaging in small talk. Whenever I can, I let them act as the buffer between me and society. It's win/win.

3. They're Batman

One really tough thing about being an INFJ is the way we wrestle with decisions. We're adept at working out of both sides of our brains, which means we're equally artistic and logical. I'm often torn between what appeals to my creative nature and what seems like a practical solution. Tack on the ability to see things from multiple perspectives, and you've got a recipe for Confused INFJ. This is when I pull out the bat signal, and presto! Extravert to the rescue! They cut through confusion and lay out options quicker than you can say Holy Indecision! My vision clears, and I make my choice. Problem solved.

4. They're Walking Parties

As intriguing as my inner life can be, it's always a delight to step out and be in the company of someone who sees the world in a totally different way. I can't help but enjoy the charm, wit, and energy of an extravert who makes me laugh or has an amazing story to tell. To make connections and add more adventure to my inner worlds, I need these awesome folks to challenge and inspire me. And I usually rise to their level of extravertedness...laughing, talking, joking, releasing scads of positive energy. It's exhilarating, and I'll need to recharge afterward, but it's totally worth it.

5. They're Big-Hearted

Most extraverts I know have enormous capacity for expressing emotion. If they feel something, they show it. They fly high and love hard. As a reserved and somewhat guarded introvert, I'm in awe of the way they shower their generosity on others. If I want to be cherished, all I have to do is hang out with an extravert. Pretty soon, I'm feeling on top of the world. :)

How about you? Do you have an awesome extravert or two helping out in your life? Be sure and let them know how amazing they are! 

Image Credit: Matrix Eye and SuperGuy via; Moon Verts