Saturday, September 15, 2012 0 Comments A+ a-

Hey, people! Hope everyone is doing okay and having a great weekend. It's a gorgeous autumn day here, sunny and cool. I keep waiting for the trees to change color, but things are still green. I guess with the severe drought we had, the land is trying to hold on to its ability to flourish before it has to wither and succumb to winter's chill. Went for a walk last night and reveled in the cool beauty of the evening, including a sunset that took my breath away. This is totally my favorite time of year.

Was in a situation earlier this week where I had to face the fact that dealing with everybody else's stress and conflict was taking its toll on me. My hubby and I were trying to deal with yet another machine breaking down on us. Between our aging vehicles, the garage door, and various rebellious appliances it's been a tough season for us. This week the dishwasher finally gave way, and everyone has had to step up and start manually washing. Which for us is a huge stress, given that during the day I'm limited in my ability to wash them and keep an eye on my disabled son at the same time. I rely on our dishwasher heavily to keep up with the food consumption in our home, and the last thing the kids want to deal with after school is a sink full of dirty dishes that I couldn't get to.

Well, I asked my husband if we get could get a new one, but our financial situation is fairly precarious at the moment. His preference was for all of us to keep doing dishes manually and just deal with it. I told him that solution might get the dishes done, but it wouldn't alleviate the stress and resentment in the household (which I'm sensitive to). We already deal with a pretty high level of stress, and adding to it just makes me withdraw into myself even more, thereby hurting my relationships with everyone in the house. Hubby understood this--sort of--but only on an intellectual level.

Here's an excerpt from an article referred by a reader (thanks, Melissa D!):

The spiritual, sometimes mystical, bent of INFJs has been frequently noted. At the very least, they seem to be aware of subtle cues or nuances long before others notice them. INFJs are especially sensitive to unexpressed anger and conflict, whose presence is usually denied by others. This contributes to the sense of separateness from others that many INFJs report, which may lead them to doubt their own mental stability.

The article, "Was That Really Me?" was posted on a personality forum. To read the entire thing (it's rather lengthy and has quite a bit of good information), click here.

'Resentment' by
 Dorina Costras
The funny thing is, my disabled son is also able to pick up on anger and conflict. His mood is highly dependent on mine, which contributes to my level of stress--seriously, who can be in a good mood all the time? We can't have any conflict in our home--no raised voices, no heated debates--or my son is at risk of a meltdown. So we each walk around in states of personal resentment that I can feel and am continuously trying to get away from.

I happened to be venting to a friend of mine about the situation, and bless his wonderful heart, he offered to buy my family a dishwasher. I didn't want him to, but he insisted. He said he loves to help people and knows how difficult my home life is. He's wanted to help me in some way for a long time and this was his chance. So I'm breathing a sigh of relief today that we'll soon be able get back into a semi-normal routine with our dishes.

It's really not a good feeling to have so many plates spinning at one time. When one comes crashing down, the others are instantly threatened. Today is library time, though, and in searching for inspiration I can ignore the plates and focus on the rich inner world that is so much more adventurous than reality. And in my stories, there's always someone around to take care of the dishes!

Have a good weekend my friends,