Friday, May 25, 2012 3 Comments A+ a-

Ah...a quiet Friday morning. My hubby's at work, my daughter is staying with friends, and my boys are snoozing away upstairs. As I sit here in my quiet house with my laptop and mug of coffee, I feel very blessed.

Yesterday was a blur of activity, so this alone time is precious. Being able to read the news, talk to God, collect my thoughts, and blog without interruption is vital to my well-being. It enables me to recharge and prep for the busy day ahead. If I don't get quiet time at least once a day, you can pretty much expect the needle on my grouch-o-meter to be heading toward a dangerous level!

And ironically, we're going to end our week with a talk about...well, talking. The opposite of quiet, so to speak.

Despite their refined tastes, INFJs are typically not pretentious or excessively serious individuals. They regularly enjoy spending time with other people, listening to music, and watching movies (especially “classics”). Perhaps more than anything, INFJs love spending time engrossed in meaningful conversation. Because of their verbosity and enjoyment of others’ company, they can easily be mistaken for Extraverts.

In my last post we saw how INFJs typically harbor a traditional or classical view when it comes to culture. But we're not stuffy or snotty about our views, nor do we draw a lot of attention to their value. They come naturally to us - our desire for authenticity flows through our veins as easily as the blood that gives us life.

And I agree that we're not excessively serious, either. I feel that I can see the humor (and draw it out, if necessary) in just about any situation. My sense of humor tends to balance out my mysterious inclination for all things deep and dramatic :-)

Listening to music, watching movies and spending time with other people are activities that most people enjoy. However, I place different values on these activities than others, even INFJs, probably do. Some of it has to do with my extreme sensitivity to my environment.

Especially sound. There are some movies/songs/sounds that literally drive me away. My daughter loves the Disneyed-up pop star movies that make me want to throw heavy items at the television. My son listens to gritty country music involving beer, dogs and trucks that threatens to lower my IQ with each yee-haw. Because our house is small, and I have to constantly supervise my special needs son, there are few places for refuge against the onslaught of noise that comes my way. No one else seems to mind it - just me. I don't know if this is part of my INFJ personality or if I'm slightly on the autistic spectrum, lol!

But the environment plays a huge role in how I prioritize media and people. In a loud, bustling restaurant or a crowded room, I usually don't contribute much to conversations. The sound is a deterrent, and all my energy is utilized trying to deal with it. Like the wedding I went to last fall, where the reception music had so much deep, vibrating bass in it that I finally left in tears.

Give me a quiet, cozy coffee shop or cafe, or a lovely natural setting in the country, and conversation can be both fluent and inspired. I do love talking with people. Get me on the right subject, and I can talk - and listen - for hours. One of my dearest friends is an extravert, and when we get together we cackle and caw like a couple of hens. Everyone around us probably thinks we're both extraverts the way we carry on. What they don't know is that I need to be fully charged before I'm with her and then recharged afterward.

Me...talking about reality TV...
Meaningful conversation is my preference. Can I talk about the weather and the latest reality show? Sure...although you probably won't like my opinion on the reality stuff (ugh). But I'd rather dive into a subject that changes me - inspires me - makes me a different person when I walk away. For me, those are the conversations worth having.

I really don't like the word verbosity. It conjures up a picture of someone who can't stop talking. Annoying, right? But it kind of hits the mark. I don't know about you, but I'm much more concise in writing than with speaking. To get a point across verbally takes more time, words and energy (plus, you can't delete, cut or paste during a conversation!). Especially when I'm around extraverts - you have to be quick to get a word in edgewise, without much time for thought.

How does this impact daily life? Well, my life is pretty 'hermitized' due to my circumstances. But overall...I prefer texting to talking on the phone. I dominate the radio when we're in the car (feel free to pity my family). Many times I'd rather watch a movie by myself than socialize with people. If I do socialize, I prefer one-on-one or small groups. I need quiet time at least once a day. More than anything, I prefer to daydream and write out my thoughts about the movies, music and people I've been experiencing. It's all about balance. Mine requires a lot of fine-tuning.

Well, my boys are awake and the dogs are clamoring for attention. My respite worker is on his way over with the next P90X workout. Soon I'll be surrounded by a chaotic mix of noise and testosterone.

Good thing I'm charged up.

Have a great weekend, folks!



Write comments
May 29, 2012 at 2:00 PM delete

This is so helpful....People laugh at me when I say I'm an introvert they don't agree - but I know I am.

May 30, 2012 at 8:32 AM delete

Introverts can actually seem like extraverts if you get them in the right environment (or on the right subject). But it has more to do with how we use/spend energy than how outgoing we appear. I recently read a book called "The Introvert Advantage" by Marti Olsen Laney. It completely validated my feelings and behaviors - loved it. Give it a try sometime if you want to know more about your introvert traits.

Keep in touch out here, too, please - I enjoy your thought-provoking comments :-)

June 4, 2012 at 2:50 PM delete

I can just about guarantee you that you won't get rid of me :)