Going Rogue

Thursday, June 02, 2016 2 Comments A+ a-


Well, guys, it's been exactly two weeks since my last post. Please forgive the lapse...hubby and I want to put our house on the market this fall, and our to-do list is a mile long. I've literally been up to my neck in paint, mulch, and cleaning agents!

But the house is looking really good, and despite several exhausting days, it's been worth it. And while I'm working, I get lots of neat ideas for new posts. I'm logging them on my whiteboard (along with many other lists) and will have quite a bit to blog about when fall arrives.

In the meantime, there are still quite a few posts to transfer over. Here's one you might relate to in a powerful way. Have a good day, folks!

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Going Rogue
6/27/2014 via The Gillicrist Pen

Hey, people! It's a beautiful Friday morning here in east-central Illinois. The sun is shining, and steam is rising from my coffee mug. The house is peaceful...at least for the moment...so I'm going to see how far I get with this post before the natives begin to stir.

This topic is probably going to be a little awkward. It came up in a conversation I had yesterday, where I was describing my tendency to see errors and inconsistencies in systems. It's not a conscious effort, just one of those INFJ things that occur naturally...and sometimes gets me into trouble.

If you're an INFJ, then you're already well aquainted with the dualistic nature of our superpowers. They are annoyingly double-edged. They can go from blessing to burden in the space of a heartbeat, and not everyone understands how painful this can be.

Do you remember Rogue from the X-Men movies? She has the ability to draw power/skill from other mutants by touching their skin. It's a remarkable talent, when you think about it, because it gives her unlimited access to mutant abilities. If she needs to heal herself, she touches Wolverine. If she wants to create an ice sculpture, she kisses Bobby. Pretty cool, right?

Except that if she touches them for too long...they die. Blessing? Burden? Hmm...it definitely makes it hard for her to develop close relationships. People are wary of her, even when she's trying to accomplish something good.

This is how I view the INFJ's ability to identify system flaws. It doesn't matter where I go, or what I'm involved in. My brain picks up fundamental problems. If I'm reading a book, I see grammatical or punctuation errors. If I'm taking a class, I find contradictions or holes in the subject matter being presented. When I spend enough time in a coffee shop, restaurant, or church, I start seeing consistent flaws in the service or the building itself. I'm not doing it on purpose...it's simply one side-effect of having an overactive Extraverted Sensory (Se) function.

How is this a blessing? Well, it enables the INFJ to help fix things. We're perfectionists by nature, and we automatically apply this to the world around us. In the right career, it can be quite helpful. As a project manager, editor, building/home inspector, etc., we can see problem areas and get them patched up. Yay!

How is it a burden? To be honest...the majority of the time, people don't want to know that their system has flaws. Either they can't handle it, they don't care, or they don't feel like dealing with it. And they can get really upset when you bring it up. Not so yay. :(

For the INFJ, this is a difficult superpower to balance. We come from the perspective of wanting to help others. We like fixing things for people. When we can't help, the disappointment is hard to live with. To offer help and be rejected is even harder.

I've tried (and am still trying) to balance this in my own life. It's sort of like juggling daggers, though. Not everyone appreciates it when I "go Rogue."


Mostly, I try not to point out flaws. Or if I do, I try to explain that I'm doing it out of the desire to improve something. And if it gets to the point where I can't live with the flaws, I just walk away from the system. Sounds harsh, right? Probably, but it's better than living with an Se that's begging to be put out of its misery, lol.

So...moral of the story? Really, there isn't one. This is one of those things an INFJ just has to learn to deal with. We see what we see. What we do with that vision is completely up to us.

If you're an INFJ with insight into this issue, please don't hesitate to leave a comment. Hope everyone has a wonderful Friday and weekend! <3

Image Credit: RogueINFJ Critic 



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Christy Haupt
AUTHOR
June 3, 2016 at 9:30 AM delete

The balancer is perceived vs actual responsibility.Yes, I see all the "issues" out of whack, and I know pretty well when to say/do something about it using the question: who will be harmed/negatively affected if I don't point "this" out or act on it? I always acknowledge what I "see" to myself and congratulate "me" for it. Came up just yesterday in a case with my 86yr old mom who hasn't addressed end of days care scenarios. She is fiercely independent and lives alone, but I am increasingly seeing it's coming to breaking points. How much do I point out to her? How much do I say? What do I put into action behind the scenes?

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Meridian
AUTHOR
June 4, 2016 at 9:22 AM delete

I try to do the same thing...ask myself if pointing out the flaws will do more harm than good. But it's tricky, because there are some flaws that I can't live with, and I sometimes end up bailing on something rather than speaking up. I haven't encountered the aging parent scenario yet...when my dad was trying to convince my grandmother to move into assisted living, she didn't want to go. She was independent and wanted to stay in her house. But she was forgetting to take her meds, or to turn off the stove, and would even forget that my dad pointed those things out to her. It's definitely a tough situation when we can see things that others can't. I do hope you're able to work it out for the best.

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