Relationships: ENTP

Monday, August 04, 2014 12 Comments A+ a-



Hey, guys! How's everyone doing? Hope things are well with all of you!

Been busy and a little unfocused the past several weeks. Do you guys ever get that way? I'm not sure exactly how to describe the funk I'm in, but it seems to happen when my brain is mulling over too many concepts and doesn't seemed excited about any of them. Instead of a clear path ahead, I get one that looks like a blurred photograph, and it stops me in my tracks.

To be honest, I don't like it. The INFJ has enormous powers of concentration, and we feel very accomplished when we're doing our thing and doing it well (yeah, it's usually both). And I know what would help...a humongous chunk of alone time, free from distractions, to find my creative flame and nurture it back to life.

But it's summer. And I have kids. Alone time is pretty much an impossibility. (sigh)

So I thought I'd jump-start my brain with a relationship post. We've only got a couple left, guys, and I've been looking forward to this one: the ENTP.


ENTPs are extreme "idea" people. Upbeat and optimist, they are insatiably curious about the world around them, and their strong intuition gives them the ability to quickly process situations and come up with logical deductions. It's sort of the same thing we INFJs possess, only instead of internalizing it, ENTPs radiate their superpower into the atmosphere.

Let's break down their strengths and weaknesses (via Personality Page and my Mass Match hard copy):
  • Excited about possibilities, anything new
  • Eternal optimists
  • Can be very charming
  • Excellent communication skills
  • Gregarious, sociable; look self-confident
  • Always working on a grand scheme or idea
  • Love to debate and may argue for the sake of argument
  • Tend to view people objectively, making them appear insensitive
  • Don't always follow through on their plans and ideas
  • Love for new and exciting may cause them to change partners frequently
  • Big risk-takers and big spenders

ENTP functional stack:
  • Dominant: Extraverted Intuition
  • Auxiliary: Introverted Thinking
  • Tertiary: Extraverted Feeling
  • Inferior: Introverted Sensing

I find it interesting that Personality Page claims "ENTP's natural partner is the INFJ, or the INTJ. The ENTP's dominant function of Extraverted Intuition is best matched with a personality that is dominated by Introverted Intuition."

Mass Match lists us as a strong contender as well:
  • Best: ENTP, INTP, INFJ
  • Possible: ESTJ, ISTJ, ESTP, ESFP, ENTJ, ENFP, INFP, ENFJ
  • Least Likely: ESFJ, ISFJ, ISTP, ISFP, INTJ

So what does this mean for a friend/lover relationship between an INFJ and an ENTP?

First, the good stuff. Idea people are great for the INFJ. They stimulate our minds, inspire our creativity, and broaden our horizons. Get me around a big thinker, and I'll spin plots for days afterward. The ENTP would probably eat up our attentive response to his/her way of viewing the world. Both types are good communicators, capable of logical, big-picture thinking and problem-solving. An ENTP's charming, glass-half-full attitude could easily draw the INFJ out of his/her mysterious shell, opening up all sorts of exciting relationship possibilities.

Problem areas? Hmm. I can see where the ENTP's constant craving for new-and-exciting might wear on an INFJ's steadfast practically. If one person jumps from idea to idea, the other might be left to shoulder the everyday stuff...and that could lead to an imbalance in the relationship. INFJs are also strong humanitarians who care about the welfare of others. If the ENTP keeps an objective focus, he/she might frequently come across as insensitive, which could put barriers between the two types. I'm also not sure how an INFJ (who dislikes conflict) would handle the ENTP's love for debate, except perhaps like this:


Sooo...match made in heaven? I really don't know, although I agree that if both types have well-developed functions, it could work out beautifully. An ENTP with a finely-tuned Fe is probably an outstanding partner. Paired with a mature INFJ, these two could probably change the world. :)

Anyone have experience with this? As always, feel free to comment!

Have a great day and take care!

Image Credit: Simpsons ENTP, Play Dead


12 comments

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August 5, 2014 at 8:36 AM delete

I feel you on the alone time. We have recently moved in with my in-laws and that's a whole can of emotions I'd rather not get into at the moment.

I'm not too well-read on all the different functions (read: I don't know what the hell Fe means), but I am married to an E/INTP. I'd say he's more E, but that's because I feel I'm hardcore I.

We get along well, but he doesn't really get that I *need* to be alone sometimes. He also doesn't understand why I journal so much which has been hard to explain to him.

Thanks for the post!

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August 7, 2014 at 8:58 PM delete

<<...a little unfocused the past several weeks. Do you guys ever get that way>>
Yup... same. I think it's the heat (maybe). Stay cool. :)

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Anonymous
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April 15, 2015 at 1:14 AM delete

One of my best friends is an ENTP, and I can relate to most of the stuff you said. It feels like she brings out something in me, that I didn't even know I had, and I feel like we're unstoppable together! When we met, we just almost automatically trusted and understood each other, but still continuously learn new exciting things form one another. I can make her slow down and think things through and can inspire her to find new excitement in some things she has gotten bored with already. She inspires me to be more spontaneous, free to do what I feel is right and helps me "get out of my head" when I dive in too deep :D
That being said, I'm not sure if I could handle living with her. Her schedule is insane! And she does so many spur of the moment things, that I'm sure it would annoy me if we shared a household. But then again, I'm living happily with an ISTP who doesn't even seem to be capable of planning ahead, so I guess love conquers a lot :)

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Anonymous
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July 21, 2015 at 5:05 PM delete

The keyword here is definitely emotional maturity. I am an INFJ who gets on seamlessly with ENTPs. We do apply different methods of thinking however we tend to always end up on the same page and somewhat share the same ideas about things. INFJs have immense capacity to understand people and get to the root of who they are and are less likely to get hurt once they truly trust someone, in my opinion. They are sensitive souls but their rationality balances things out and they may need to talk about what bothers them (after stewing over it a little) but they always reach a compromise with their partners due to their good sense and judgement. As for the extraverted ENTP Vs. introverted INFJ: INFJs are known to have the ability to be quite extraverted due to our want to connect with people. The supportive and mature ENTP is self sufficient enough to understand this if the pros in the relationship greatly outweighs the cons, or this particular con. The ENTP on the other hand is the most introverted of all the extraverted types. To my personal knowledge he is extremely capable of, and even comfortable with, being on his own when he isn't busy keeping active and meeting people- perhaps this applies more to older ENTPs- because his internal world and personal down time is also how he grows his thoughts and gets ideas flowing. As a side note I also have to stress that unless you are dating a person who is emotionally mature as opposed to narcissistic/insecure and he/she is self aware and objective.. These test results are just going to confuse things. I have met ENFPs who think they are ENTPs when they are clearly a lot more emotional- much more so than an INFJ who I consider to be quite well balanced for the most part- therefore typecasting is extremely tricky unless you view both yourself and your partner as straight-shooters with no complexes.

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Anonymous
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September 21, 2015 at 8:59 AM delete

Haha just read this now.
I am most likely an ENTP and my younger sister an INFJ. Think we are always delighted to be with each other. We can discuss for hours without getting too annoyed. Just yesterday she told me it's so weird that she can talk with me without fearing that she gets too annoyed. That's what developed Fe is in my opinion. Pushing buttons but being able to put your feet on the break when needed to take care of the other.
It does get on my nerves though. That she has the habit to jump to one conclusion without taking others in account. That I always need to introduce her to people while I feel she should develop some "confidence"/" willingness to jump in the deep and that she judges sometimes without looking at the context.. But guess that's normal. No match is 100% perfect and she is lovely as she is. Glad to have her and wouldnt want anyone else ever.

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Anonymous
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November 30, 2015 at 8:37 PM delete

I am an infj female, and I have a male entp friend. He can be very insensitive because of his way of never taking debates personally and expecting everyone else not to, and as he is intelligent and verbal, he can be devastatingly hurtful in debates - and he always debates! He has hurt my sensitivity from time to time because of this, but I know that he doesn't intend to. He respects me very much, in particular because of my intellect, and I condone his antics because, well, we now each others' faults ^^ But it took me awhile. He stimulates me intellectually very much and I also appreciates the energy and humor he can bring me. Peculiarly, I look at him with the same tolerant attitude as I would a baby brother of sorts - we have that kind of friendship that seem to have existed forever even when we just begun to no each other. I don't think he would ever learn to be sensitive, nor do I think I will ever really like the debate form of communication, but we both have an intellectual interest which could be fed through communication, though I try to avoid it to be to much of a debate ^^ He is sweet in his insensitive way, and has become one of my closest friends!

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Zach Wilson
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January 7, 2016 at 1:41 AM delete

I'm an ENTP and two of my best girl friends (I'm a gay) are INFJs. I've actually got a really developed Fe, so I share INFJs humanitarian bent, and feel really deeply about social justice. But it's true that I do love arguing, and I am incredibly insensitive sometimes, though I work on it the best I can. But probably the biggest issue I have with my INFJ friends is the P vs J issue. I'm a bit stereotypical in that sense, a total mess. I'm constantly late, easily distracted, more than a little flakey, unreliable. It really gets to my INFJ friends, sometimes. But honestly when I'm dating though I always look for Js, because they help me to feel safe and in control. I could never start a family on my own, I'd need a J to keep things (like our budget and children's everyday welfare) from going to shit. But yeah, I have tons of respect for INFJs intellectually. They're usually quite brilliant, and their J ensures that they're often high achieving. I love the mystery of them, and I love their emotional depth. As an ENTP, I use Fe, so although I like talking about feelings and am somewhat sensitive to others, I'm often clueless about my own feelings. INFJs emotional depth, then, can serve as an emotional anchor for us. Believe it or not, for all of our spontaneity, ENTPs are deeply relationship driven, and we love to love other people. Despite my sometimes cruel rationality ("this is the way it is, here's how you deal with it"), I pride myself in always being there for my friends and significant others emotionally, and I'm working on the sensitivity. Things are a bit tough sometimes with INFJs, but I really love being with them. It's worth it in spades :)

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John Bittner
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January 7, 2016 at 8:26 AM delete

OK - I just started dating an ISTJ and she is very aware of herself and we have had such a connection since we met, it is amazing. I am an ENTP but borderline I/E - and that jives with what you say - happy to be with people - or happy to be alone in my head. The beauty of your explanation is the need for maturity - which helps wear off our rough edges and get along with all personality types.

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Anonymous
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June 4, 2016 at 12:54 PM delete

My best friend since I was 6 is an INFJ and I'm an ENTP. It was definitely harder when we were younger but we really grew into having the most beautiful relationship. I respect her needs and she respects mine.

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Anonymous
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December 14, 2016 at 4:41 AM delete

I am a female ENTP and I am an INFJ magnet 😊 All my closest friends throughout my life have been INFJs and I have fallen in love with just about every INFJ man I have ever met, and am still pining after one of them 20 years later... So much for ENTPs being fickle! I find it hard to believe that INFJs are supposed to be a rare type as I seem to know dozens, but I guess we are just drawn together.

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Anonymous
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April 18, 2017 at 3:02 AM delete

I am a ENTP and i am having real trouble with my INFJ boyfriend. Our ways to feel / think are completely opposite. He judges me by his feeling and I try to explain by objective thinking but this is no ends. He is so insecure and pessimistic on many things particularly our relationship and his career. I just cant stand for such negative vibes anymore even i am a sunny shinny girl. Maybe i am too insensitive comparing to him so i always piss him off without knowing why. i tried to use more Feeling but seems i can never fit in his shoes. We been together seamlessly 2 months ago but we keep arguing so many times already. Cant see why ENTP and INFJ are natural partner, just because i was naturally attracted to each other? how to maintain the relationship i really need to know...

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Berlin Raj
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April 25, 2017 at 10:25 AM delete

Life is all about compromises.

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