Wild Child

Saturday, March 22, 2014 5 Comments A+ a-


Morning, guys. Hope everyone's doing well!

I'm settled in at a coffee shop, sipping my customary cinnamon-orange tea. Didn't even have to ask for it. The guy behind the counter knows me well. :)

So....have been very, very busy. And stressed. And I have good news and bad news. Gonna dive in.

The bad news is that I postponed the release of Gambit. I felt awful about it. So many of my family and friends were counting on reading it. But the deadline was coming up too fast for me, and the pressure was eating me alive. Since I'm already under a great deal of pressure at home, I sort of fell apart. Didn't mean to. Just happened.

I really don't know how to make people understand how difficult the past 19 years have been. They've shaped me in ways I never wanted or asked for. I've been in fight-or-flight mode almost constantly, and it has taken its toll. You know the cliche stories about a wild child being raised by wolves, then being brought into civilization and asked to adapt? I sometimes feel like that child. Like the real world is more than I can take, and I respond to it according to my survivalist nature. Run or attack.

via
Ever feel that way?

Anyway, the publishing company has revised my editing schedule and is being very patient with my limitations, which I appreciate. When I have a new release date, I'll let you know.

Okay, so the good news? First and foremost, I've found my love for writing again. With the pressure off, my brain has been able to focus on the creative process, instead of the editing process. There's a huge difference, if you didn't know. One is fun and incredibly rewarding, and the other is sort of like...a tax audit. Lol.

I also created a new blog called The Gillicrist Pen. Already been posting out there. It's going to be a place where I can do a little bit of everything. Vent about being an INFJ, review books, put rough draft chapters of my books, etc. Right now the graphics are boring, but that will change when my publisher gets hold of it. Until then, please bear with my Plain Jane color scheme. :)

The INFJ Cafe will stay open for a bit. I still need to finish the relationship series, which I haven't been very steady with (my apologies). Am not sure what I'm going to do about the Cafe, quite honestly. It gets a fair amount of hits. The INFJ-to-INFJ relationship post has been viewed over 10,000 times, if you guys can believe it. Until I figure things out, this blog will keep on keeping on.

Better get to work. Lots to do. I wish everyone a beautiful (and stress-free) day!

Always...


5 comments

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Dawn
AUTHOR
March 23, 2014 at 11:43 AM delete

I haven't been reading long, and I mostly lurk, but wanted to say I'm so sorry you've been in fight or flight mode for such a long time. That is all too familiar to me, and I really hope for better days and some peace for you. I'm looking forward to your new blog and to reading your book.

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Meridian
AUTHOR
March 25, 2014 at 9:15 AM delete

Thanks, Dawn! Your support and encouragement are really appreciated. Makes my heart smile! :)

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April 30, 2014 at 9:31 PM delete

Lately I've had a lot of luck escaping the usual anxiety that I feel because of spiritual stuff. I don't like pushing it at people, but I feel sort of obligated to not keep my success to myself (<<obviously, I am an INFJ, though sometimes I fall more as an INFP). Anyway, I may as well state that I'm a Christian, so I think God is the one at work here (not me), but mostly because I let go of a lot of issues that were bogging me down (not being a good enough wife/friend/daughter/employee/person), and then I tried meditating some, which helped when I kept up with it. I also just started asking myself, "is this really a problem?" before worrying about it. I have found that most things aren't. So the laundry and dishes don't get done all that often, but I feel a lot better! All I worry about now, is whether I am expressing love towards people in my life, and it has relieved so much anxiety. I don't think I've ever lived without anxiety before now, and this is just incredible!

Of course, I still want to do the same things I did before - that hasn't changed - but I just don't feel obligated anymore.

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Anonymous
AUTHOR
May 3, 2014 at 8:56 AM delete

I just found this website, and as a male INFJ, I have to say, you are doing an amazing job! I'm enlisted in the military, so you can imagine how painful/stressful life can be for me, and I can understand only a little bit of how hard life is for you. I sometimes feel like a square peg shoved in a rectangular hole (or is it the opposite? Lol) with the world the way it is. This place has literally became a home away from home within a few days, because I have little solitude here. I hope that you may find rest and restoration, and look forward to seeing this book being finished!

-Earl

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May 6, 2014 at 2:52 PM delete

Oh and just a note - I think my mom is an ENTP and one of my close friends is an INTP. I can't wait to read those relationship blogs, because I keep feeling like they'd be really beneficial! Both of them seem to know just what to say to make me feel awful sometimes T_T My friend isn't quite as efficient at it as my mother is though.

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