Relationships: ISFP

Saturday, July 27, 2013 31 Comments A+ a-


Hey there, Cafe patrons! Yes, this is the second post in one week. I know, surprising. Even this squirrel is in shock.

Am sitting here listening to the buzz of cicadas through the open front door. I almost can't believe that my door is open at the end of July! The weather here has been beautiful lately...cool, sunny, lower humidity. Usually we have to wait until October for that kind of heaven. Not sure what has put Mother Nature in such a good mood. Won't complain!

And neither would an optimistic ISFP, which is the next personality type we're going to look at.

Ready?



The ISFP, also referred to as the Artist or the Composer, is a sensory-driven individual with a quiet, amiable nature. They have an aesthetic appreciation for beauty and like to keep to themselves. Strengths and weaknesses (from Personality Page and my Mass Match hard copy) are listed below:
  • Warm, friendly, and affirming by nature
  • Usually optimistic
  • Very good with details and the here-and-how
  • Flexible and laid back, usually willing to defer to their mates
  • Values and respects another's need for personal space
  • Likely to have attractive, functional homes (due to their love of aesthetic beauty and appreciation for function
  • Sensuous and earthy
  • Not good with long-range planning
  • Extreme dislike of conflict and criticism
  • Need their own space (and don't want it invaded)
  • May be slow to show affection with words
  • Want to be acknowledged for keeping things running smoothly
  • Tendency to hold back thoughts and feelings unless drawn out
  • May become overly cynical and practical

The ISFP's functional stack:
  • Dominant: Introverted Feeling
  • Auxiliary: Extraverted Sensing
  • Tertiary: Introverted Intuition
  • Inferior: Extraverted Thinking

According to Personality Page, "the ISFP's natural partner is the ESFJ, or the ENFJ. ISFP's dominant function of Introverted Feeling is best matched with a partner whose dominant function is Extraverted Feeling. The ISFP/ESFJ combination is ideal, because the types share Sensing as their way of perceiving the world, but ISFP/ENFJ is also a good match."

Mass Match hard copy lists it this way:
  • Best: ESFP, ISFP
  • Possible: ESTP, ESTJ, ESFJ, ISTP, ENFJ, INFJ, INFP, ISFJ, ISTJ, ENFP
  • Least Likely: ENTJ, INTJ, ENTP, INTP

So what does this mean for a friend/lover relationship between an INFJ and an ISFP?

The Pro's look fairly optimistic here. ISFP artistic tendencies might be very appealing to the INFJ. We love people who inspire us on a creative level! The flexible, laid-back aspect is also a plus, since INFJs can be intense. The ISFP would probably be good at handling our perfectionist attitude. I can tell you right off that "earthy and sensuous" would draw me like a magnet...my Se very much enjoys being around this type of person (who is sort of a "feast" for my senses). The ISFP would respect our need for space and be sensitive to our needs. Our own Fe is designed to pick up on others' feelings, and we could probably draw an ISFP out and validate his/her feelings and opinions. 

However, I think an INFJ could have some trouble with too much Sensing and Feeling. We tend to be deep thinkers who intuitively seek out intellectual connections and pursuits. Our Se can sometimes be overwhelmed by an artistic, sensory demeanor. We also can appreciate the "here and now" approach, but we often look into future possibilities--the planning aspect could be a source of conflict. And speaking of conflict, neither the ISFP nor the INFJ is good with it. Grudges could be held. In addition, without either being an extrovert, socializing could end up being a problem.

hert.deviantart.com

Overall, I sense this working romantically between an INFJ male and an ISFP female, as long as they address conflict well. As an INFJ female, I can't picture myself in a long-term relationship with an artistic, sensitive ISFP male. I think I'd prefer someone with a more dominant thinking function who doesn't have a huge need to be acknowledged. But this is all speculation, since every individual is unique. I do think having an ISFP, male or female, in my social circle would be a huge benefit for creativity and spontaneous fun.

What do you guys think?  


M.


Image Credit: Omg SquirrelSimpsons ISFP, ISFP


31 comments

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Anonymous
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August 17, 2013 at 7:47 PM delete

I think the idea that the "guidelines" for what is the best / possible / least-likely type combinations can be applied uniformly for all types is suspect. I understand the desire on the part of the researchers who study it (like Keirsey, an INTJ) to want to make it a science that can be uniformly applied, but I am not sure that it is that simple.

I think you observation about this working for better / well for an INFJ male and an ISFP female is reasonable. Bu since INFJ males are so rare, how could anyone have studied enough samples to support a conclusion?

My observation is that INTJ females, the rarest type for women, have enormous variability, in my eyes, as compared to women of other types. I do not know why, but more common types appear to behave more homogenously, IMHO, than rare types. I have met very few male INFJs, but none appear to me to be much like me at all! Again, a that is a rare type for the gender.

So, my theory (based solely on personal experience and observations) is that there is no theory for types and relationships that works as well for the rarer types as for the more common ones.

Regardless, I have been personally strongly attracted to ISFP females in the past and I currently am. So, I think this a workable and above-average combination for INFJ males. I have also found some INTJ females to be nearly irresistible and highly compatible, despite the theory at they should not work well. God love anyone who is willing to work at a relationship with an INTJ. Again, my personal theory is that rarer types may follow different rules or just tend to be rule-breakers. YMMV.

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Anonymous
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September 13, 2013 at 9:18 PM delete

I find your thoughts spot on overall. I have several ISFP friends and get along with them well. But I can connect to (I)NFs more intimately. I am attracted to intelligent ISFP females. Not sure how well a long-term relationship would work, though.

Male INFJ.

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Anonymous
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September 26, 2013 at 7:47 AM delete

I am an INFJ male who is in a very successful 31 year marriage with an ISFP female. There are some other pertinent background facts that are worth noting. We both have strongly held and similar values regarding religion, politics, money, art, culture probably because we come from a very similar socio-economic background. We also have in common tha tboth of us suffered dislocation and childhood trauma as foreign born refugees who came to America. Our shared faith and values have served as a powerful glue that allowed us to raise 8 well adjusted and successful children.

However, there are some "workarounds" you should be aware of in this kind of match:

My isfp wife is surprisingly blunt and candid and I am admitedly thinned skin. She sometime bludgeons me without even realizing it. I do not handle conflict well and then have to work through my secret grudge. In my case, I have prayer but not every INFJ has developed that internal discipline.

In addition, people who visit my house will often comment on some change that has been made. Without bragging, our home is a showcase and my ISFP wife is known for an amazing gift for decorating with coler, texture, form and balance. I feel kind of ashamed when people complement the harmony and balance in our home and I realize have never even seen the flower arrangement (it may even be as big as me...) or some other thing she has done in the house or garden.

In short, I have learned to listen and look and then heavily complement and thank my wife for all she does to beautify everything around her. She has learned to be more aware that I "read into things" and am sometimes hurt by her bluntness.

The good parts is that she knows I am wild about her after all these years and that she knows we are soul mates. No marriage can exist for long without hard work (prayer helps also) but an awareness of strengths and weaknesses breeds understanding. Understanding allows you to forgive more easily, a challenge in any marriage,and to satify your partner more completely.

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Anonymous
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October 21, 2013 at 10:55 AM delete

I am an INFJ female who has been in love with an ISFP and I cannot see myself stop loving him either as I am quite persistant when it comes to stuff like that... It happened probably because there was an event where I was rather confused and he seemed to notice that and stayed around and made me feel safe. Later he offered some contact details and since then we did at least have each other's skype addresses...


But by now I am beyond conflicted, after meeting up on a few more events I felt a subtle connection (this was when other people were around), and I know he felt it too. But he excused himself later that he only acted ''open'' when in social events and even told me he was not ready for a relationship... Some tears were accompanied to that statement.
At the time I liked him a lot, after that statement - I was in love.

Funny huh?


But now we haven't met in any similar events in a while, he has been helpful when I have called on him for practical matters... If you like to call carrying a huge TV that, or watching scary movies at the cinema with me.

Both are still pretty young, and anything can obviously still happen... What bothers me is that I logically know somewhere it just couldn't work out... I am not outgoing enough and it just seem like there are awkward silences between us whenever we meet just the two. I try but I can't be something I am not of course!
Him being closed up most of the time and my almost obsessive need to find out what others are feeling surely can't end up well...
Sure he have told me things I have wanted to hear, the kind of things every INFJ want to hear ( problems you want to help solve ) but is that really enough?


Blergh... It's another one of the INFJ paradoxes I suppose, the war between the realistic, harsh logical truths and the overwhelming perception of what's inside our souls.

By now I feel like I am writing to myself mostly but if you have some feedback and thoughts I'd like to hear it.

Glad I found this post anyways! Never thought I'd find one about the INFJ / ISFP relation.

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Freckle Face
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December 2, 2013 at 5:26 PM delete

I am late replying, but I am an INFJ in a 12 year relationship/marriage with an ISFP! Honestly, I don't know if anyone else could deal with the complicated behaviors I have. We definitely have issues talking about how we feel. It's our greatest downfall. But the intense loyalty and commitment we both have glues us together, and being persistent, we get through it. I haven't experienced the "just walk away" fight behavior, at least only in small ways. He needs his space, I know enough intellectually not to push him past his point in conflict.

That being said, it's an incredibly rewarding physical relationship. And although we may not meet the mark intellectually, what I provide in that area, he provides in artistic ability and discovery, pushing me to learn about things in a whole world I could not find one my own. I feel like we balance out okay. Also, we both teeter on the E/I line, so we have very successful parties, we just have to recover from them.

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Anonymous
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December 23, 2013 at 8:28 AM delete

INFJ male (me) / ISFP female (wife): married seven years. It works great! "Soul-mates."

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Mama Kautz
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January 7, 2014 at 12:54 PM delete

INFJ male/ ISFP female (me) married 17 years and it will be til death do us part. Communicating our feelings is our biggest downfall, but we are both loyal. I am a writer, but not the artistic decorate the house type AT ALL. We both would rather stay home and be together than go out to a gathering of friends. The beginning of our marriage was a tad rough with his walking away I took as leaving me...PTSD from previous marriage. Looking back it was his needing space.

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Anonymous
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March 17, 2014 at 3:37 PM delete

Hello! I just found the INFJ Cafe today. I've been sort of in a phase this afternoon where I'm just totally hooked on the Myers-Briggs personality types. I don't know what's up, really, but I'm finding it slightly hilarious that every INFJ comment uses exceptional grammar. Perhaps it is because anyone truly interested in their personality type would use good grammar, being articulate? I'm not really sure, but I am quite happy to have found this post about ISFP - INFJ relationships!

My best buddy in the whole entire world is an ISFP. We're practically sisters and it's funny that what the others are noticing about the dynamic are prevalent in my relationship with her. We both do not like giant parties. Whenever we would go to school dances, we'd stick close together, not dance, and just stare at everyone because people can be frustrating. Whenever we get together, we always do small things with just us or 2-4 other people. Our introvert-driven minds really get along in that sense. Being me, an INFJ who always wonders and thinks too hard all of the time, it is great to have a best friend whose advice is down to earth and full of sense. I am liable to expect the worst and to really put myself down, while she's there telling me to relax. Her mellow and go-with-the-flow personality is great for me, as a person always thinking deeply and sometimes in a too complex manner. To be truly honest, I don't think that either one of us likes conflict. Even if she accidentally offends me, I don't like to bring it up with her because I hate having her mad at me and I really hate thinking about all of the possibilities that could happen if we start holding grudges and not talking. As a not-so-great point, sometimes she can be really cynical and practical and pessimistic, which is sometimes difficult for me because I am not very practical. I sometimes have a good idea of what to do, yes, but my mind soars around in imaginative places and is always making up stories and is, to take words from the blog, artistic and sensory while hers thinks through her thoughts like each is a pebble to be examined realistically.

Anyway, it has been WONDERFUL looking through the INFJ cafe! It is so great to hear of other people in the world being interested in analyzing people, thinking giant, heavy thoughts, and being by themselves for hours a day. (:

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April 19, 2014 at 11:20 AM delete

Hello! I am an INFJ male in a relationship with an ISFP female and I find that she and I balance each other out. For example, whenever we're trying to come up with date plans, she thinks up multiple possibilities and I ultimately end up making the decision, with regards to her feelings as well, but mostly I find myself being the one narrowing down and picking what we do.

Personally I have never felt more connected to any other person the way she and I connect. I am able to read her very easily (which comes natural for us INFJs) and she's told me that she loves how much I am able to tell about her without her having to say much to me. She and I are able to communicate with a single look and know exactly what each other is thinking and more times than I can count I find myself already knowing how she will end her thoughts or in other words "reading her mind" (which she finds very impressive haha)

I suppose in summary, I can verify, and judging from a few comments I've already read, so can others, that this relationship is astonishingly compatible.

Also, I am definitely visiting this blog every day from now on!

Thank you!

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Anonymous
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April 21, 2014 at 12:27 AM delete

I am an INFJ and I am currently dating an ISFP who has recently joined me in my religious practice. And I can say that this is an eye opener for me... I've had doubts about how it could work out, but we try very hard to understand each other and realize that without a doubt, we love each other. Thank you sir for your revelation.

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Anonymous
AUTHOR
April 21, 2015 at 11:20 AM delete

Me INFJ male. Her ISFP. Dating for about 15 months now and we are just now starting to figure out these personality based differences. I get uncomfortable when she changes plans just after we have made plans or sometimes I can tell she has a hard time committing to one plan and wants to keeps things open In the beginning I almost thought she did not want to commit to something (for example dinner with me) because she was waiting to see if something better came along. I know better now. I am learning to go with the flow a bit more and she is learning to plan a bit more. I don't like that she is not very punctual but I am insanely punctional and we need to find a middle ground there too. I also get confused when I hear her tell other people (for example when on the phone) that she will meet them in x number of minutes when I know based on location etc that she can in no way be on time. It feels like she is telling the person (sometimes I am that person) a unrealistic and optimistic time-frame in order to make the other person feel better. My INFJ mind wonders if she is working as follows. "Ok I know I'll be an hour late. If I call now and say I'll be 30 minutes late, then when I get there in an hour I will only be 30 minutes late, not an hour, and this will make him/her feel better". I dont know I may be crazy but probably just an INFJ ;) You know, hate it when stories don't add up.

All in all this relationship can work great. I need to let a lot of things go though.

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Meridian
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April 21, 2015 at 1:00 PM delete

I have the same issue with SP personality types. I tend to be very literal and take every commitment seriously. The SPs in my life are more spontaneous and like to keep things fluid. Their constant rescheduling and lack of planning take a bit of getting used to. I have to remind myself it's the way they think and that they're not deliberately sabotaging my schedule. :)

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Anonymous
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April 28, 2015 at 3:48 PM delete

My best friend is an INSP. He is the person in my life who lights me up and makes me enjoy the world. When I am around him I feel like a more sensual being, and considering the rest of the time I live in my head full of science and politics, this is pretty exciting for me.

No surprise I am sure, but I am the INFJ - note the INSP's are not the types holding the dialogue here. (; All the posts are INFJ's opinions on INSP types. Typical.

We have the best relationship. He respects my need for downtime, but also gets me out of my head and out of the house when I go too deep into my little world. He likes to shop and go out to eat, and it's possible I would never do either one if it wasn't for him. He brings out the best of my creative and joyful side. I always laugh the loudest around him. To be honest, I rarely laugh. I'm not an unhappy person, I just don't usually find myself laughing. I'm always laughing around my INSP friend.

I can be authentic and open with him in a way I can't be with anyone else. I'm often suspicious he is the only person who knows anything about the real deep down person that I keep hidden.

The INFJ - ISFP combo has been an excellent one for us. We compliment each other and respect each other.

The reason he is not my romantic partner or husband is because his addiction to weed and sex frightens me off. I need a more stable relationship for the role of husband. I'm very future oriented, and it would upset me if he used the money I work so hard to earn on drugs and sex. Also, I could never handle being cheated on, and with him it's practically inevitable. It would damage the trust and love we have, because it would be him being him, but me being me would be crushed by that side of him in a romantic relationship.

Most of my choreography has been inspired by him, and he has been the one to give me the confidence to be creative in my job. So, in a round about way he helps me with my stability because I am very successful in my career in part due to him being the wind beneath my wings.


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Anonymous
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April 29, 2015 at 1:17 AM delete

I wrote the wrong type. I meant ISFP, but once my autocorrect had it wrong it kept filling it in wrong. Sorry about that. Couldn't find an edit button.

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Anonymous
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July 29, 2015 at 2:15 PM delete

Hi, so I saw that you mentioned INFJ male and ISFP female, but do you have any thoughts on an INFJ female and ISFP female? Would there really be a difference? I mean both of us don't really conform to gender...

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Meridian
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July 30, 2015 at 10:18 AM delete

Hey there, and thanks for bringing this up! When I wrote the article a couple of years back, I was thinking more in terms of the "stereotypical" INFJ male (and what I've read about them) than gender. There are so many factors that play into relationships (age, experience, upbringing, culture, medications, disabilities) that trying to pinpoint the impact of something like gender is almost impossible.

That being said, I think a romantic relationship between INFJ/ISFP could work beautifully between any combination of genders. There are a lot of positive aspects to this pairing, and any problem areas could be overcome with communication, mutual respect, and love. :)

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Tori
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August 8, 2015 at 1:47 AM delete

I'm an INFJ female, and my fiance is an ISFP. I quite honestly could not imagine a more perfect match. He's not the stereotypical artsy type, but I just love the his eye for beauty and his deep appreciation for it. We'll go on walks and he'll point out to me how gorgeous the sunset sky is, where if it was just me I wouldn't have noticed it at all because I'd be totally lost in my own swarm of thoughts and plans, oblivious to the sweetness of the present moment. Aside from that aspect of personality, he is fiercely loyal, unconditionally loving and patient with my intensity and perfectionism, and so calm and easygoing. He truly balances me out. Though we're both introverted, I haven't found expressing emotions to be an issue because of the level of trust we share. And as to the seeking a dominant thinker, to each his own, but I've learned from experience that I can't handle a thinker. They tend to be less sensitive to other's emotions, whereas another feeler will understand and will be someone you can easily turn to for comfort and understanding when you're vulnerable. I realize some INFJs are only slightly feelings-dominant, or at least less than I am, but personally, I crave the powerful emotional connection that comes from being with someone who feels things as deeply as I do, who realizes that facts and reason can't always solve the problems of the heart.

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Anonymous
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October 21, 2015 at 2:18 PM delete

I dont find this article at all helpful. Furthermore, I've been round the block reading other sites ''opinions'' and some of them say the total opposite. There are other aspects not at all considered too that I have been able to prove important in my 50 years. For instance will a ISFP Pisces Snake and an ISFP Leo Horse be the same? Or say the latter was INFJ? as the previous commenter mentioned? I've spent quite some time studying this stuff and apart from it telling me I am ISFP (75% correct) it serves little use since its science cannot assist me in other matters also and I am not about to pay someone for their ''expert'' advice.
Very Disappointing.

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Anonymous
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December 1, 2015 at 4:54 PM delete

I am an ISFP female married to a INFJ male. We've been married for 6 months and we're already in marital counseling. Our therapist had us test our personality types to get to the root of the issues, and it really hit the nail on the head for us. I'm an ISFP with a sensory processing disorder (A.K.A train wreck..lol) and he's a very typical INFJ. My senses are on overload and I burst at the seams easily. This is a lot for him. He sits there and tries to figure me out instead of listening to what I'm telling him. He's like a little old man trying to baptize a feral cat. HAHA!! I love him greatly. If we can figure out how to communicate properly and ensure both our needs are met, I'm sure we will be fine.

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Anonymous
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December 22, 2015 at 9:42 PM delete

Very cool..I'm an INFJ female with an ISFP husband (of 9 years) and we work really well together, but my intensity and desire to plan for the future definitely clashes with his relaxed here and now attitude.

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Amber
AUTHOR
December 23, 2015 at 4:33 AM delete

This is extremely insightful and helpful! I am an INFJ female interested in an ISFP male. We are both prayerful and spiritual, and I can see promise for us. It's a type I'm surprised to be so into--I love his appreciation for beauty in everything, down to dress and home decor. I have always been this way too, even though I'm often still oblivious to my surroundings when lost in my head. And his "here and now" attitude is refreshing, something I need and value in all of my close P friends who remind me not to stress out about the unknown future so much. Certainly, prayer and relationship with God are the magic elements that mend any brokenness, misunderstanding, or unforgiveness, crucial to success in any human relationship. I'm glad I found your comment. May God bless you and your amazing wife for many years to come!

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Nadine Nikain
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March 25, 2016 at 12:13 AM delete

I'm an INFJ female and my BF is a ISFP male.

We do have A LOT of conflict BC we both are very emotional and sensitive people. We communicate so different.

I worry that his lack of planning is going to set us up for failure

And he hates how angry I get when I feel my values are disrespected.

Honestly I might agree that the combo is a poor match.

It was super fun at first, but I feel the ISFP needs an extroverted gal, who is an S type...

I may need a T type that is not so emotionally demanding but yet somehow calms me when I over stress myself.

I don't think ISFP and INFJ would ever be a good match.

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Lara
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April 12, 2016 at 12:28 PM delete

I'm pretty sure a relationship I recently ended to my own great heartbreak was with an ISFP. The planning versus living in the moment conflict was the absolute deal breaker; after three intense and womderful (to me) months, he saw me as fatally flawed in my imaginitive "flightiness" and said as much, and I ended it right then. We are both in the same town still, and I kind of enjoy knowing that all the big dreams I am slowly bringing to fruition as opportunities present themselves are right in front of his face. Its a good lesson to me, too, to leave judgment at the door when another types do things I don't understand. He really hurt me, and we'll never be friends now. It's really too bad.

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Unknown
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April 13, 2016 at 1:25 AM delete

Did it help going to counciling? I'm a isfp female I have been with my infj boyfriend for almost 2 years an recently our communication is beyond difficult. He talks in circles never just telling me what he means it's like a guessing game but gets very hurt when I perceive him wrong. He believes I make everything about me when I would love nothing more than to understand an hear his feelings. Ugh it's really making me hurt.

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Unknown
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July 31, 2016 at 3:00 AM delete

1. Infj's need to talk about their feelings and thoughts with just a single person they trust to better understand what's going on within themselves or just to explore their visionary minds. Sometimes we need to speak for a long time, because we're (through the conversation or monologue) looking for some sort of key within ourselves to better understand ourselves or a situation. We easily get hurt (feel lonely) if people we love don't understand us or get tired of us trying to reveal ourselves which isn't easy for us (we're much better with written words), because most people tend to not understand us at all. 2. It's because your emotions/emotional reactions take the attention away from him, when he is actually trying through the conversation or monologue with you to understand something important within himself. We rarely show our inner persona/worlds to other people, so you should just listen to him and know that you are in a very rare position of being trusted by an infj (we usually know all about everybody, but they don't know much about us). You're very important to him so just listen to him and be nice without letting your emotions overshadowing him and his needs, because it will ruin it for him and he won't get the support he needs. Fast written, so I hope this make some sort of sense ;)

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Nadine Nikain
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August 18, 2016 at 1:48 PM delete

I'm an INFJ female dating an ISFP male... And u r on point. I enjoy the artistic laid back style of him however when it came to getting to know him on a deeper level I few tired of his need for praise, need for compliments, need for reassurance. I need a male who is a tad less sensitive. My bf takes almost everything personal during conflict instead of listening. I have come to conclusion he is not capable of having a mature convo without the excess emotions. Some emotions are ok... But this is like an avalanche of boo HOO poor me. It's exhausting

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ILoveMyISFP
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October 8, 2016 at 11:45 PM delete

I am an INFJ female married to an ISFP male. We have an amazing relationship, not perfect, but incredibly emotionally satisfying. He is the constant steady - in love at all times. I am the emotional excitement, moody at times, unavailable at times, and super passionate and exciting most times. He is the steady I need, I am the excitement he needs. But we are both the loving, loyal constant each other both needs. He provides the simple, uncomplicated love. I provide the depth and passion. We both know and appreciate that about each other. Our sexual chemistry was immediate (and at times is incredibly passionate) and continues to this day.

Main issues for me as an INFJ - he's too simple. I get bored. Nothing to talk about. And most of our conversations are me talking and him saying "uh-huh". But I can get mental stimulation elsewhere - job and friends. THIS IS KEY.

I've heard a natural match for INJF is an ENFP. I get that. I was previously married to an ENFP male - and we clicked intellectually like no other. Fireworks there. But his emotions were incredibly all over the place (nice/mean), and I was his emotional punching bag (and fought back). I don't like conflict. But I will defend. So we fought. I lost sexual attraction after 18 months (not attracted to emotional volatility), despite that we had 3 kids and were married for 8 years.

However, I am still HOT for my ISPF after 3 1/2 years. Maybe even more so than day one. I never found him super attractive at first. But I transformed him - dressed him, new hair, and encouraged him to lose 30 lbs. He is now at his HOTness - and agrees, he loves being this attractive, stylish 6'2" and 180# sexy guy. Most importantly - He's such a sweetie, so easy-going, loves me flaws and all - and we laugh, have fun, have great sex, and just generally love being together.

I completely disagree that the S and N are a problem. It's the source of the attraction. I'm intense, he's simple - we each adore that about each other. I think what drives us both crazy is the male-female differences. I'm moody. I'm a woman. He's unaware of my needs - he's a man. Even an ISFP casanova with all his doting affection and who can win over any woman - is unaware of his mates actual needs. They are too uncomplicated. INFJ's are COMPLICATED. But we love like no other. Loyal as hell. And we love to encourage others to be their best selves - for them, not for us. ISFPs love this. They are innately looking for the easy life, but have goals too. We are the perfect match for them in this regard. And they for us - they love us for our passionate and unconditional love, and I believe, we are the only ones they can and will commit to for a lifetime. ISFPs want love first and foremost, and INFJs are the amazing romanticists to match that need.

HUGE fan of the ISFP male and INFJ female combination. Happy love for both = happy wife, happy life!!

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Anonymous
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October 27, 2016 at 4:37 PM delete

Me too! The ISFP male and INFJ female marriage makes for much happiness:) He can listen to my intensity without getting too involved, and he gives me the space I need. So much love there!

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Anonymous
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November 26, 2016 at 5:45 PM delete

Does anyone have any advice on dating an INFJ male? I am an ISFP female. Having just started to see the INFJ male, I find myself receiving mixed signals because he just doesn't pursue me or initiate any contact, but when we do see each other it's so fun and we find a connection, it's really deep. He also continues to follow and like all my social media posts everyday. I'm not really sure on how to help this all progress further without seeming overly forward as a girl. It's nice to feel pursued by a guy, but I also know this guy is very unusual, and a keeper, so could just do with some advice really!
Thanks!

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January 29, 2017 at 9:22 PM delete

There's no such thing as being overly forward as a girl.....aproach as you like :-) he should enjoyed being persued, its a human feeling. X o X o I used to be like this also, try to be passive....but its a silly rules that no-one needs to follow and is so stupid, we need balance in the world, not rules like control/be controlled. puruse/be pursued...which is what gender rules dictate...That's what I'v read anyway...and it makes sense!!! Im so much happier feeling free to be active/ take the lead/share the lead now........Free Isfp.

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Anonymous
AUTHOR
February 25, 2017 at 11:45 AM delete

I'm an INFJ female married to an ISFP male. I think the biggest sticking point on the likelihood of such a pairing lasting is if you both think a relationship works best if both are willing to work through issues instead of running away from them. Both my husband and I are persistent people (in different ways) and we made a point of making a rule in our relationship that we would always talk through and work out our issues before considering breaking the relationship off. Shared values such as this are key in a relationship with an INFJ and an ISFP. If you're both just totally opposed on key values such as family or faith, then it won't work out regardless of what personality type they are. I was lucky that my ISFP is someone who shares a lot of the same values as I do, and he brings out the best in me as an INFJ just as I bring out the best in him as an ISFP.

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