INFJ vs. ESTP

Saturday, September 29, 2012 1 Comments A+ a-


Hidey-ho, people! Yep, that's my official "Wilson" greeting, and if you were ever a fan of Home Improvement, you'll know what I'm talking about.

It's a beautiful fall morning, and I'm flying high on some awesome feedback I received last night from a 15-year-old girl who read the first 90 pages or so of Caleb's story. She's a home-schooled Christian teen with a remarkably high reading level, and her comments were soooooo encouraging. I was starting to run a little dry, and her feedback was the boost I needed to keep on keepin' on :-)

Today I'm really missing my friend Wendy. She used to do respite work for me, and even after she quit, we'd still spend time together. She's the one person who can kick my Se into high gear. Now that she's moved 45 minutes away, I'm hard pressed to find those happy, laugh-til-your-gut-hurts moments that she is so capable of inspiring.

Wendy is an ESTP. Artistic, funny, carefree, and completely right-brained. It takes all my energy to spend time with her, but it's well worth it. She can talk me into the craziest things, and best of all--she helps me get away from my Ni/Ti and indulge in much-needed sensory activities.

Here's Dave SuperPowers' take on the INFJ/ESTP relationship:




I find it interesting that he mentions the INFJ ability to "take on" other people's characteristics, likening us to chameleons. I've always felt extremely adaptable to situations, and this would explain why. The INFJ can walk into a situation, observe and assess, find the qualities inside of us that best fit the environment, and put them into play. And we do it naturally, without a lot of effort.

Wow. Protectors, counselors, superheroes, chameleons. Are we freakishly cool or what? :-)

So a good question here would be...if an ESTP is such an awesome friend for the INFJ, why is our shadow such a mess? My guess is that because the ESTP personality is "us in reverse", it throws us out of character to engage in their behavior on a long-term basis. In addition, we're so extreme that we might not know when to stop, whereas the ESTP individual has had lifelong experience at setting limits and working within them to achieve balance.

Someday soon I'm going to need a little road trip to Wendy's house--to catch up and get in some laughter and fun. Until then, it's off to the coffee shop I go...hi ho, hi ho...

Have a terrific, spontaneous weekend,
M.



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Anonymous
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May 14, 2013 at 9:58 PM delete

great perspective.. thank you for sharing. i'm an INFJ and my best friend/soul mate is ESTP. based on what i've read and your thoughts on the subject, i'm drawing the conclusion that the key is to enjoy the fun, sensing things that an ESTP can bring out in the INFJ, but for the INFJ to work on and respect your own boundaries so that your energy isn't over-drawn and you become unbalanced. i think the ESTP can help teach you how to set boundaries because it's something they do naturally. lots to learn and benefit from each other. ..cheers!

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