Going and going and going...

Monday, August 20, 2012 0 Comments A+ a-

This is the tea I drink.

Hey, guys - am sitting here in bed, sipping Red Raspberry Leaf tea with honey and wondering where the day went. Much was accomplished, but I'm finding it hard to come down from the activity high.

The editing went very well today. I'm pleased with the outcome, but a little concerned at the time it requires. Each time I revise something, it gets better. Awkward paragraphs smooth out, unnecessary details get snipped, and sometimes new ideas present themselves to be woven into already existing material. If I did this with my blog posts, they'd all be perfect (which they're not, especially when the dang auto-correct undermines my authority). I'm used to this tedious, repetitive process with short projects such as e-mails or letters. I'm used to it with the presentations I type up for my friend Wendy, or feedback from the projects I do with her classes.

But a project of this length is daunting. For example, I had no problem coming up with a new prologue. An idea for it sizzled in my brain and wouldn't leave until I'd written it out. Then I went back and refined it. Added to it. A tweak here and a tweak there. I'm 99.9% happy with it, but there's always that .01% that can be improved upon. It's about four pages long and almost ready. When I think of the work I've put into just those four pages...and then think about the number of pages to go...I get a little anxious.

I got up early this morning, had some coffee and reviewed the news, chatted with my kids before sending them off to school, then changed my clothes and went to work. By the time my special-needs son woke up, I'd gotten quite a bit done. When Johnny arrived, I was able to get more done. When my husband got home, I went to the library and made it even further. I rewarded myself with a tanning session and then a lovely hour with Grimm when I returned home. By the way, Grimm is really starting to intrigue me...it was a little odd starting out, but I found the characters likable and stuck with it. The plot has expanded and has me pretty much sucked in :-)

So I should feel great, right? But I don't. All I see is the towering amount of work ahead of me. Because I won't settle for less than my own 99.9% satisfaction in what I finally put in front of someone. I have teens lined up and ready to read the first 10 chapters. I'm almost there. But it's the thought of the work on the next 30-40 chapters that are robbing me of today's joy.

(sigh)

Okay, so at some level I'm aware that being perfectionistically driven (yeah, I made that up) is an INFJ demon. Do things really have to be perfect? My son finds it amusing that I'll refuse to use the same adjective twice in one chapter. He thinks I'm insane to change a detail that I find problematic when he didn't even notice it.

But I noticed it.

Arggghhh...is anyone out there relating to this?

A fellow blogger buddy recently posted on his blog that in "most things we do, there is a 'speed/accuracy trade off'. In general, the faster you do something, the less accurately you'll do it, whether you're ironing a shirt, or playing a song on the piano."

I agree with him. Take the time to do it right, and you'll be glad you did. So that's what I'm doing. Not rushing things. Taking it slow to ensure accuracy, clarity and precision. And it's frustrating the crap out of me.

I so need a hat like this!
Am hoping that someday I'll look back at this post...and, well, not laugh exactly...but smile and remember the days when I was running on guts, coffee, and pure ambition. Because I'm not only an INFJ perfectionist...I'm someone who sets her sights on the finish line and just keeps going. Like the Energizer Bunny. Except I hate pink, so picture an earthier-colored bunny going, and going, and going.

Okay, this loopy gal is seriously ready for some shut-eye. Thanks for letting me vent!

Blessings to all,
M.