Oh INFJ, Where Art Thou?

Monday, July 30, 2012 5 Comments A+ a-


Morning, folks...another quiet Monday following a busy weekend. Sitting here with my laptop and coffee, looking out the window and wishing it would rain. And then rain some more.

I had an interesting weekend. Instead of leaving the coffee shop and writing at the library, I stayed at the coffee shop. Mostly because I can buy food there. In the library all they serve is coffee, so I end up sipping all day and ignoring my stomach. Not good. So I kept my table, fastened my earbuds in, and went to work. I've stopped creating and am in the process of re-writing. Now that I'm five chapters in, it's becoming enjoyable. I like molding my characters--who were hesitant and timid when I first introduced them--into who they were meant to be.

Problem is--people stop and talk to me in the coffee shop. I didn't get as much done as I'd have liked. So next weekend I'll have to pack a lunch or something and stick to the library. But one friend I talked to ended up going out to dinner with me and my husband later that evening. As we chatted, he told us that he'd found himself interested in a lady in our community who reminded him a lot of me.

"Perhaps she's an INFJ," I said.

He gave me a blank look.  "An INF-what?"

And so began the discussion. The more I told him, the more he became convinced this lady (whose behavior confused the heck out of him, poor guy) was an INFJ. He walked away with quite a bit of insight into our personality type, and I walked away wondering why I have so few INFJs in my own life. Obviously there are others in this town. I just don't personally know any of them.

INFJs are like a rare endangered species. We're hard to find unless someone in khaki carrying a camera comes along and shouts "Crikey, an INFJ!  Isn't he gorgeous!" So how do we find one another in the forest? Smoke signals and secret bird calls? Do we wear t-shirts? Form a club? Put bumper stickers on our car or start an awareness campaign? And if several of us got together, what would it be like? A group of quiet, creative, thoughtful people keenly aware of one another's feelings could be fun. Or really weird :-)

Caleb, my 15-yr-old son, recently tried taking an online MTBI. The questions were difficult for him, though, and many didn't apply. So I encouraged him to find one for teens. The teen tests leave out F/T because they don't think children have fully developed in this area. But he scored as I-N-J. Which explained a lot. Caleb and I can get along really well at times. Our attitudes are often similar, and we feel the same way about things. I'm a little thrown off by his lack of compassion, but I tell myself he's a teenager. And he admits that here at home, where he feels safe, he tends to blow off more steam than when he's with friends. He knows family won't abandon him.

Because Caleb and I share so many great moments, I wish I had other INFJs in my small circle of friends to share with. I can only imagine the awesome conversations we'd have.

So, my plan of action? I'd like to buy or design a couple of INFJ t-shirts and wear them while I'm out. Just to see what kind of response they'd get. Would other personality types recognize the MBTI reference and strike up a conversation? Would INFJs see the logo and approach me? Not sure, but it sounds like a fun experiment. If I do this, I'll report back on the results.

What do you think? Anyone else have ideas on how to track down local INFJs?  :-)

5 comments

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Lisa
AUTHOR
July 31, 2012 at 8:36 AM delete

if you're looking for TRUE INFJs who are also MBTI nerds then start a club called The Protectors (or The Sages...i've heard INFJs be called both before) and make a logo in the likes of The Avengers and see what happens. it's a little silly but...

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Meridian
AUTHOR
July 31, 2012 at 9:20 AM delete

Oh my gosh, Lisa...I laughed in delight when I read your comment! What a cool idea - and I love the Avengers, so it would fit perfectly! Thanks for the idea. Now...to come up with a logo that won't infringe on Marvel copyrights :-)

You know, it's crazy, but I'm sort of fearful that other INFJs wouldn't be as 'into' it as I am. Have spent so many years feeling weird that I'd hate gather a group of INFJs and find that I'm the weirdest out of all of them...lol!

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Nesia
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August 2, 2012 at 1:23 PM delete

Hey Meridian, I LOVE the T-shirt idea. I really wanna do that one day to see what type of convos I'd have. I often wonder what it'd be like to have a fellow INFJ as a close friend and like yourself I never seem to come across them in my day-to-day life. Hopefully that'll change one day. Sign me up to be a member of The Avengers-- us INFJs will have things in tip-top shape in no time :-)

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Meridian
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August 2, 2012 at 1:50 PM delete

Hi, Nesia - sounds like we have the same problem. INFJs are so private we can't seem to find one another offline, except maybe by accident. I just ordered a t-shirt today from Zazzle...no images, simple text. Don't have the software to create an image. But I do have ideas for a future shirt with graphics. Will post about all of this later.

You're on the team. Hope you have your superpower ready :-)

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Yakarin
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July 9, 2013 at 7:35 PM delete

I realize you made this post almost a year ago, but I am precisely thinking hard about making/joining a guild of infjs haha... don't worry, you will find yourself at home with the crazy thoughts. Have you already created The Protectors?? I'd really love to join or work on this project! hehe

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